As someone who literally has an aversion to reading, I’m just as shocked as my friends were when I brought up the fact that I was looking into buying a kindle. Despite reading a solid 5 books in my whole 26 years of living I decided to utilize my $50 Best Buy gift card and purchase the Kindle Paperwhite 2021 Edition. Believe it or not, unlike every other aspect of things I thought I would enjoy once I bought them, but inevitably fizzled out I’m still using my kindle… It’s been 2 whole days. Just kidding!!!!! It’s been at least 2 or more weeks so HA!
Before I delve into one of the first books that I eagerly want to review, I feel like it’s natural for me to introduce what kind of genres I even like. Just by the title, I feel like there might be an inkling of what that may be, but if you aren’t familiar with what Creepypasta even is… My favorite, unwaverable, unshakable top one is always horror. Whether it’s through short stories, video narrations, paranormal investigations or scary movies this shit is absolutely, without a doubt, my crack cocaine.
So without me creaming 🍦 myself any further, I want to review this novel that serves already to be one of my most favorite horror novels I’ve read in a long long time, if not all time. If you’d like to have a gander at this story, because it stems from a series of reddit posts you can easily access the full story here! I’ve heard there’s virtually zero difference from the online posts to the printed novel, but regardless of which you choose to read I think this would be a story any horror fan would enjoy reading!
PS: As for this review series, I will start off with the general plot and synopsis without trying to give too much away if you choose to read these books. In section two though, the spoilers are gonna fly off the rails so if you’re the former, make sure to exit my blog before you get there.
General Plot : ★★★★★
Penpal revolves around our narrator, who remains nameless throughout the whole story. He starts off the book with a short blurb in regards to how your mind does a miraculous job of protecting you through the act of forgetting or twisting your memories often into something more palatable. The novel is separated into six chapters, each one documenting an event that has occured in our main character’s childhood. Each one while seemingly occurring at different points in time, are all different degrees of terrifying and part of a collective that is necessary in completing the whole picture.
As vague as the plot maybe, it gives way for the reader to discover and learn more about WHY specifically this story is a no sleep favorite. Starting off with our main character (who a lot of fans simply call the actual author’s name, Dathan) we follow him as he recalls incidences of his childhood now as an adult. Without giving too much away, every chapter ultimately brings you closer to the writer’s intentions and delivers them in a straightforward, easy to understand yet chilling style.
I personally went into this book not expecting too much, I was simply browsing a list called “The 50 Best Horror Books of All Time Will Scare You Sh*tless“, and as someone who does frequent the short horror stories section of reddit I thought the origin of Penpal fit right in my niche. The true circling “entity” I’ll call it in the story creeps into every chapter and makes you want to keep on reading to figure out exactly WHAT it is or what’s going to become of Dathan. I was absolutely hooked on this novel from beginning to end, and although it is written in a matter that’s familiar to some reddit horror stories it’s much more well rounded and polished.
While I do think certain chapters are scarier than others, it’s the small details that the author continuously comes back to that makes you feel like every chapter despite being its own singular incident is another missing piece of the puzzle. I would consider that the best aspect of this novel, being able to keep the story centralized all the while adventuring to different parts of Dathan’s adolescence. For that reason, I’d easily give this book 5 stars… Maybe I’m just easily entertained and I don’t have a huge selection of horror novels to even base my ratings off of but the point is, I slept with the lights on after this book. So that’s an indication worthy of it’s rating in my opinion.
Review and Revelations ★★★★☆
Now onwards with the SPOILERS!!!!!!! First and foremost, I do have to say that the idea of a child stalker might be scary but for me I have always found ghouls 👻 and goblins 🧟♂️ the cornerstone of horror. Without them, or the connotation of them I feel like a scary story is always missing that 2% even if it is objectively good.
However, I think Penpal did a great job in building up the suspense and keeping the audience wanting more just to figure out exactly who this stalker was. I’m not sure how the general consensus was over the ending, but the idea that the stalker was simply just a regular man, one not related to the characters but a mere mortal man whose intentions were unknown was more impactful than him being somebody. It wasn’t a scobby doo let me yank off your mask and it’s YOU situation. It was simply a mf.
The lack of description and veil of mystery surrounding this man made his being seem more sinister and truly evil. It also leaves room for the audience to imagine who this man could be because so little detail of him was given. The thought that this story started merely from Dathan, a child in kindergarten participating in a school event, and soon culminating in a series of events that he was too young to even comprehend IS scary. The thought that something as simple as setting a balloon off in the air can create a cascade of events that brings a stranger this close to an innocent child is a horror story worth writing about.
I would have to say that one of my most favorite parts of this book had to be the chapter labelled “Balloons.” As the story progresses non-linearly, we figure out that this chapter might’ve been the catalyst for our antagonist’s actions. Without going into too much detail, this chapter describes the excitement and youthful joy that Dathan feels in regards to an annual school event. Each student in his class is given a balloon that is tied to a note enclosed in an envelope, which they will eventually set free outside. the note asks the receiver whoever it may be, to take a photo, write a letter and mail it back to the elementary school. The collected mail and photos are then pinned on a map to help the students visualize the concept of a community.
I wish I did something like that in elementary school damn… But with how the story unfolded here, maybe not. While that beginning seems innocent enough, the chapter takes a turn when Dathan continuously begins receiving messages from his supposed penpal, but instead of having someone to write back and forth to he unilaterally only seems to receive blurry polaroids of nothing. Polaroids that he eventually realizes were all photos of himself *DUN DUN DUN*
As often as children do, this didn’t seem to phase Dathan as much as it would an adult. With the incident settling in the back of the mind, he continued on with his regular 7 year old-esque activities, until one day he realizes that the dollar which he marked and enclosed in his envelope remarkably ends up back in his hands. I think what really drove me to feel deeply for this episode was the way the author wrote Dathan’s enthusiasm and exhilaration. A young child in the mire of being able to somewhat understand that this dollar that was once his, travelled between x amount of people and x amount of miles, to eventually find him again. I felt like it captured the magic that is childhood, and the purity of children despite the overwhelming horror that was about to take place.
While there a lot of moments in the book that I think were chilling I think what stuck with me the most, other than the scary moments was the way our protagonist was written. His blameless deposition and powerlessness to understand certain adult situations. How he thought his mom calling the police was somehow because she was mad at him, and not at the fear that her child was being stalked. A piece of dialogue in “Balloons” I really liked was when Dathan finally realizes what the polaroids entailed, and our author writes:
For a moment, I tried to imagine this whole thing as one tremendous coincidence, but I knew that it wasn’t, and I sat there stunned. I didn’t know what to do. Your mind works in funny ways as a kid; there was a large part of me that was afraid of getting in trouble simply for still being awake. I wanted to wake up my mother. I wanted to tell her there was something wrong here.
Dathan Auerbach (Penpal, 2012)
“I wanted to tell her there was something wrong here.” I felt like that was such a great way to highlight how Dathan, even as a 7 year old child could sense the inherent irrationally and strangeness of these photos all having him in them. He might not have been able to pinpoint the fact that this to his mother, or to any adult would’ve elicited fear and horror but he knew it at at least wrong. It’s like the physical inability for children to articulate what they really feel without the right vocabulary but still innately understanding when something is off. Bitch, I loved that.
I also loved many other moments in this book, but I think a lot of it stemmed from the dots connecting. The shark floaty that we saw in the woods, where it came from, why it was there. Why a different women answered the telephone for Josh instead of Josh’s family, and who she was and how she fit into the narrative. It’s those moments where seemingly small details you could easily brush over fit back into the whole of the story and completes it.
Overall Thoughts : ★★★★★
Granted that I haven’t indulged in many horror novels over the years, this 5-star rating may seem premature but I stand with it. Despite being scared, I wanted to keep on reading this even deep into the night. I downloaded it at 6:00PM yesterday night, and finished it this morning at 9:00AM. I couldn’t put it down and I’ve already downloaded Dathan Auerbach’s second book, “Bad Man: A novel.”
In conclusion, I’m really glad that I found this book, but also a little sad that it wasn’t longer and that the author only has two books under his name. I hope this series is long lasting and I’ll be able to develop a collection of horror stories that will make me shit myself! Until then, thanks for reading~
like the chip... but candice 